Here’s the costume I wore to our studio Halloween party…
The boss wanted us all to put in the effort and come in really scary costumes. Problem is, I just didn’t have enough time. Also, I am lazy.
I figured I’d just buy a simple white mask a la “Phantom of the Opera” and scare everyone by doing really bad covers of whatever’s playing in my head at the moment.
So, I bought a mask (which didn’t even look like the Phantom of the Opera) and when I get home, I put it on the table and just stare at it. My wife and kids come over and proceed to play with the boring white mask.
It was then that I realized I did have time to make a costume. I was just lazy. Or tired. Probably both. But I did have time. Enough time.
So, I got up, went straight to my wife’s closet and took out a very old white dress she hasn’t worn in years. I also took an old white bedsheet and made a few cuts here and there. All this while my wife was busy playing with the kids.
I then took all the clothes and put them in a vat and poured coffee all over them. By the time my wife saw me, it was too late. Her eyes were as big as saucers.
“Honey, I promise you this will be worth it”, I said.
“What… in … the…”, she replied.
I then kissed her on the forehead and played with the kids. She stayed there staring wide-eyed into the vat.
A few minutes later, I took out the clothes and hung them to dry. A beautiful white dress with ‘mud’ stains.
“You’re lucky I hated that dress.”, my wife says.
“I know. Besides, that dress is too small for you now anyway,” I replied.
“I mean, it shrunk.”
I turn away but I could feel her icy stare penetrating the back of my thick, hard skull.
An hour later, I try on the costume.
This will do.
“Honey, I guarantee you I will win the prize for best costume”, I tell her.
“Take off that dress. You’re creeping me out.”
I come home after the party and tell everyone I won the prize for best costume. My wife was so impressed, she wore the costume and went trick or treating with the kids.
She made a couple of kids cry and scared the hell out of our neighbor.
Happy Halloween, everybody!